To:      Fiona Redmond (representing Ella Grapp)
From:    Andrew Cady
Subject: Child Custody

I would like to create an interim agreement to
preserve the father-child relationship that
existed before that time.

I have a relationship with my daughters and son in
which there is strong existing trust and comfort,
and good feelings from them, when they see me
and are in my presence and under my care and
protection.

These feelings of trust and comfort are based on
their lived experience of Dad's presence and love.
That presence was only recently almost constant.
As a work-at-home dad of home-schooled children.
We were always together.

Even after the separation of Mom and Dad, there
was a period in which Dad was still allowed to be
a dad.

On 2024-03-??  Ella agreed to, and from then on
(incompletely) kept to, an agreement on custody
in which all of Mom and Dad and Rory and Natalia
were satisfied that they had enough of each other.

Dad wasn't happy to have no more Berko, and Berko
wasn't happy to have no more Dad.

Mom never took up Dad on his offer to be available
more than one time per day to watch Berko.

Instead instead refused to provide Berko on
several days, claiming a privilege to break her
own agreement.

Dad agreed to modify the agreement as necessary to
provide more convenience to Mom, since it would be
unfair to take too little of the "work."  But it
was never modified.

On 2024-04-??  Ella withheld the children for 




Positive experiences with Dad and children
occurred and accumulated both before separation of
Andy and Ella and afterward.  During this period
Andy and Ella negotiated a way to share custody
of the children that was satisfactory to both of
the girls and allowed Andy to see Berko every day.
These arrangements were put to an end unilaterally
by Ella.  She completely withheld all access for a
while then eventually imposed a new "visitation"
schedule unilaterally.

Under Ella's unilaterally-imposed schedule, these
positive experiences have been taken away from
our children's future and present.  Such positive
experiences, as were possible and frequent in
the recent past, have become impossible and have
stopped being formed new.  Because of this, Ella's
unilaterally-imposed schedule will, eventually,
destroy the father-child relationship.

I cannot communicate directly with Ella.  (Though
I am legally allowed, I do not have the ability
in myself.)  I only want to restore the healthy
relationship I had just a few weeks ago with my
children.

Please help me to find some way to mediate a
discussion about what my children need from their
father in order to have a parental relationship.

How can be made possible for me to be a father to
them as soon as possible?  Even before a total
agreement is formed?

Or else make it clear that there needs to be a
custody determination.  If Ella insists that the
parental relationship with father must end.

            Thank you,
            Andrew Cady